The Bathroom Incident
by VampiressBlack
Summary: James seriously regrets his eavesdropping in the boy's bathroom. Just a little oneshot for you to enjoy!


Disclaimer: characters and places belong to J., not me unfortunately.

Beta: Sam

Rating: T

A/N: just some fun I thought up and wanted to share! Hope you like it!

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James was aimlessly wandering the corridors; he was looking for his two canine friends. It was half way through their free period and Remus had promised to help him with his divination before their next lesson, yet he was nowhere to be found. James even went as far as to venture into the library and suffer the wrath of Madame Pince in order to find his studious friend, but to no avail.

So he assumed that Remus was with Sirius, and then proceeded to look for them both, he started a methodical, floor by floor search. It was on the fourth floor that he ventured into the bathroom, just in case, and to his relief he heard Sirius' voice, however it was what he was saying that made James reconsider calling out to him.

"Harder" Sirius whines, "Please, I need-"

"I know, I know, I'm trying" came the strained reply from none other than Remus Lupin. James closed the door quietly and peered around the wall, there was no-one in his immediate eyesight, so he peered under the cubical doors. His eyes were met with what were unmistakable Remus' scuffed, worn, black shoes and the bare feet of Sirius; his polished shoes were strewn across the floor along with his school trousers. James stood abruptly when Remus spoke,

"Merlin! Sirius if it wasn't so tight-"

"it's not my fault" Sirius complained, "you said it was good to be tight"

It was official, James could not move, he was scrambling to get his brain to keep sending signals to his limbs, but it was no use. His senses and muscles had all apparently gone into shock, aside from his damned hearing, that is, that… unfortunately… was working fine.

"Ok… I think… Almost there….Ready"

"Oh yes please. Come on" Sirius begged, James squeezes his eyes shut, _as if that's going to help, _he thought to himself…_idiot! _

"Right, together: on three?" Remus questioned

"Yes, I'm ready"

"One…" Gasp, "Two…" Grunt, "Three!" both boys let out a strangled groan and then sighed in relief.

"Thank God" Sirius panted then gave a slight chuckle "How does my arse look?" James eyes snapped open and he almost gagged at the mental image that statement produced.

"Great Sirius" Remus replied dryly, Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

"Thanks for helping" Sirius muttered "I really needed that extra set of hands"

"Any time Padfoot" Remus' amused voice floated through the door before James heard it being unlocked. Remus stepped out looking slightly flushed and smiling. James still found he couldn't move, Remus did a double take when he stopped James,

"Oh, hey, didn't realise you were here" James blanched at the calm tone _well obviously _James wanted to say; instead he felt dizzy and started to tip forward. "James!" Remus rushed over and grabbed his shoulders, leaning him over so his hands rested on his knees, "you're hyperventilating, James, just breath, deep breaths, there you go" James was desperately gasping oxygen into his lungs as Remus kept him steady.

"Shite, what happened to you man?" Sirius' voice sounded distant, James raised his head enough that he could see the other boy standing in the stall doorway, and suddenly burst into a fit of giggles, hyperventilation turned into hysteria as he collapsed against a sink clutching his side. Remus let him go,

"What… what's so funny?" Sirius demanded with a frown.

"What… the …hell… are …you ….wearing" James chocked out.

"you don't like them?" Sirius wined with a pout

"They're ridiculous" James laughed, earning a kick in the shin and an accompanied glare from Remus, Sirius' face fell.

"It's what all the muggle rock stars are wearing!" Sirius argued,

"Oh come on Sirius, for one they are too tight, and secondly really? Leather trousers? LEATHER?" a new wave of hysteric giggles overtook him as Sirius looked down at himself frowning, "Did you even notice that it's summer Sirius, you are going to boil if you wear those all day"

"They are not too tight…"

""Even if you did need a little help getting them on" Remus muttered, Sirius just continued

"... Besides, not that I would expect you to know, but leather is the fashion now! Have you even seen Billy Idol or Bon Jovi?" Sirius ask incredulously, but James wasn't listening, he was looking at Remus.

"What?" James gasped, as he got his laughter under control he looked between the two boys, "you were helping him put those monstrosities on? That's what all that was?" he asked gesturing at the cubicle behind Sirius.

"Yea" Remus replied looking confused, "What did you think we were doing?" he glanced over at Sirius, then back to James, who promptly turned a bright shade of red,

"Uh …nothing" he said shakily, grinning as he grasped the edge of the sink to pull himself to his feet. The other two were frowning at him, he decided to change the subject quickly, "So yea, can you help me with that essay Moony?" he asked, Remus looked surprised, before realisation dawned.

"Yea sure, sorry I totally forgot about it; Mr. I-need-help-dressing distracted me" he pursed his lips and gave Sirius a mock glare, who was grinning madly and retying his shoes.

"Let's go lads" Sirius enthusiastically swinging his discarded trousers over one arm and strutted towards the door. "What essay is this then? Any chance I haven't done it?"

"I'm almost certain you haven't done it Padfoot" James rolled his eyes at the over excited puppy "its divination"

"Ah this should be fun, I love making stuff up for the old bat!" He hooked his arm around James neck and all but dragged him from the room. Remus shook his head at Sirius' antics and followed them out the door.

End

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed it. Review and let me know how it was?


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